On Martinis

Found on RulesofThumb.org: The Rule of Martinis: "One is too many, two are just right, and three are not enough."

Close.

I prefer it the way a kindly waitress once explained it to me at the Rocky River Brewing Co. It must have been a Wednesday, because their martinis were always on sale on Wednesdays. I'd had two vodka martinis, and she asked if I wanted a third. "No thanks, I'm good," I told her. She approved.

"Martinis are like breasts," she said. "One isn't enough and three is too many." I never forgot this sage wisdom.

I agreed with her, but refrained from adding "...and they should be big, smooth, and pressed up against my face."