Millimeter Wave Scanners: The Future is Gonna Be Awesome

Even as our personal liberties evaporate in light of an eternal war against an abstract emotion, we can rest assured knowing that new scanning technology will turn everyone into a pornstar for fifteen seconds.

Nobody told me that living in Nineteen Eighty-Four would be so sexifying. Why, with this kind of technology, I don't just feel safer knowing that everybody on my flight has been degraded and objectified in the most literal senses possible. I also know that the cute girl in seat 15C is smuggling. Smuggling puppies, perhaps. Underneath her sweater.

Mmmm, yeah. Nothing can go wrong with this concept.