February to Cleveland: "Fuck you"

It's cold. Really cold. It's so cold that you have to bundle up just to go get the morning paper two feet outside your front door. It's so cold you enjoy farting just so your buttcheeks can feel warm. It's so cold that it hurts to breathe through your nose. I'm amazed that January started so mild and ended so nastily. Now, we're into February — quite possibly my least favorite month anymore — and it's only getting worse.

Erica says that some area schools are preparing to close tomorrow. It's not that there's so much snow on the ground or that the roads are dangerously slick. It's that they're seriously worried about making children wait outside for their buses when the windchill is going to make it feel like fifteen below zero. They're saying tomorrow will have a high of nine degrees. WTF?

I spent today wearing a hat indoors and poking at the thermostat. I may end up wearing gloves to bed tonight, because as previously stated, it's cold. I may have to grow a beard purely as a survival mechanism.