I Gave 'Til It Hurt

I showed up a couple of minutes after my 2:30 blood donation appointment, and the place was practically empty. There were maybe four or five donors scattered around each phase of the donation process. Nonetheless, I ended up waiting about ten minutes before getting my finger jabbed. The kind old lady who took my card would not let me sit down. She just kept rambling on and on and hitting all the same points. "Read this binder of information and have a seat and someone will come out to see you shortly." I move to sit. "I'm going to take your card and clip it to this envelope so they'll know you're here. Just have a seat and read through that binder. It'll tell you everything you need to know." Again, I move to sit down. "I'm going to put your paperwork here so the technicians will see it and know that you're out here waiting. Just have a seat and read that binder."

Thanks, lady. I'd love to. If you'll frickin' let me go away now, OK?

I read through the information and then twiddle my thumbs until a tech comes in to whisk me away to the history screening room. Three failed login attempts on their new computer system later, she's locked herself out of the laptop and we try another room. Pulse is 78, BP 118/80. I'm pretty sure these numbers are all wrong, but they paint the appearance of a healthy 26 year old man, so I accept them.

The time comes for me to actually give blood. The tech who punctures my right arm doesn't get a good flow. He says this is probably because of a "skin plug", and opts to do my left arm instead. After hooking up my blood bag, he begins a conversation with me regarding what I do for a living and the recent college bowls.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is my definition of Hell.

Eventually the bag fills and I get to shamble to the canteen to eat some neon orange crackers, an orange juice, and a V8.

I have to keep these bandages dry and in place — on both arms — for five hours, after which I can expect "a rainbow" of discoloration for up to 10 days.

They don't even give me a Band-Aid. Weeeeeeeeak!

So yeah. 2006? Still kinda sucking. I said I'd post when something good happens: there's that Firefly marathon on Sci-Fi Channel. That might be fun.