More About My Dentist

Wrong numbers are fun. Today someone called me. "Hello?" I say. There's a pause. "Is this Scott So-and-so?" "No, I'm afraid you have the wrong number." Another pause, shorter this time. "Is this the bondsman?" "Uh. No."

Trying to make a dental appointment. It is a pain in the ass and I hate them. This is kind of sad, as I grew up with a terrific dentist who gave me a good (albeit overly optimistic) impression of the dental industry. I rue it, OK? Leaving the loving arms of Dr. Dugan's practice back in Clearfield, PA was the biggest dental mistake of my life, as every experience I've ever had outside of him has been absolutely and completely miserable.

I mean miserable. Back when I had to get my wisdom teeth out they essentially held my X-ray hostage with their banker's hours and I vowed never to go to them again. Then I got lazy and distracted, and I remember the prophylaxis I had there back in September '04 wasn't so bad. The hygenist took one look at the book I'd brought with me and decided that she should keep me company until the dentist showed up, but she at least knew what she was doing and took the tea stains off my teeth with a minimum of discomfort.

Now? Now they have a new computer system. And I'm not in it. So I guess having my records there and static for a year was not enough lead time for them, they have to go and punch my old data into the new system while I sit on hold.

Oh, but then another woman picks up the line and asks for all the same information I just gave the previous woman. Thank God Number One tapped Number Two on the shoulder and said "I've got it," or else I could very well have had two records in The System. Lord knows what kind of misery having that happen would have caused me.

So yeah. Every step of this procedure is a remarkable pain in the ass and I hate them all. And to think: I used to like dentists, and at the very least saw them as a necessary profession in a cultured society. Now I really wish their industry would collapse and herald another age of the small, private practice so I can find another Dr. Dugan.