It's Friday I'm in Love

I left work early this afternoon in order to meet an optometrist appointment. They took my measurements, puffed air into my eyes, and scanned my retinas with a green laser. It was the coolest.

I broke my eyeglasses a week ago or so, and I was hopeful that I might be able to get a replacement pair before I leave for Hawaii at the end of the month. Not only were they able to completely repair and re-tighten my old glasses while I decided which was better, one or two?, but I decided to finally get frames made out of Flexon, the composite that urges you to bend me, shape me, any way you want me, and will still return to true form. They're not completely unbreakable, but for someone like me whose glasses tend to slowly turn into a Cubist sculptural project over time, a pair of twist- and torque-resistant glasses is just up my alley.

As soon as I came home, work called and decided that everything was on fire again. I spent the next four hours hitting my head against the brick wall that is the corporate VPN. After the seventh connection drop, I gave up. Monk and Stef took me out to eat, satisfying three of my four anger triggers[0], then we all drove into work for another three hours or so to get the situations sorted out. A dozen lines of Perl saved the day, and it only took a full workday to figure out what those dozen lines should look like. From there, we fixed the problem (six lines of config file changes), and work hasn't bothered me since.

We stopped at the grocery store on the way back home, and I noticed again that there is a very disconcerting section in the greeting card aisle. I was shopping for a thank you card a couple weeks prior, and I noticed that they have multiple selections of cards that are literally categorized with trite motivationals like "Our Love Is Worth Fighting For". I read a few of them, or at least the parts that were visible without having to be picked up, and it surprised me a little how similar they all sounded. It makes me wonder. Is there anything even remotely unique about the process of putting a bullet in a relationship? I understand that there are poets and learned men of letters who could explore the depths of the human soul for a lifetime, but Hallmark and American Greetings seem more interested in appealing to the lowest common denominator. By that, I mean that the cards held a sentiment that was heartfelt, yet as well-crafted as you could expect to come from the mind of a Cro-Magnon who has fucked up her relationship beyond all belief, who doesn't know any poets, and who can't think of anything original to say.

There is a major industry built up around these perfunctory "I'm Sorry" cards. Each of them generic, non-specific, and God help me, actually kind of moving. People out there genuinely do feel bad for their actions, I guess. I wouldn't know. I never got a card. Eighteen-hour days have a way of giving a person a different perspective on things. I hope these cards aren't distracting their recipients from the big picture, or muddying the waters of their relationships with anything so untrustworthy as sentimental emotions. Facts are facts. Trite sayings are trite sayings. A flowery font and pictures of two sets of footprints walking side by side at the beach don't magically turn scoundrels into saints. Shame on them for trying to evoke the altruism card.

I'm in bed now, readying myself to zonk out as soon as I put my earbuds in. It is only now at this late hour that I realize the error of my ways. I didn't drink any whiskey when I got home like I said I would. Now I've already brushed my teeth and I'm too tired to care.

[0] Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired