"I’m a big believer in the importance of proper spin speeds"

"[L]aundry is not something I take lightly. I spend at least three hours sorting the items. I know some people will do it based on colors, but I’m more concerned with fabrics. That’s why I will wash towels and blankets together even if they’re not all the same color."

And thus, a love affair between a girl and her fabric softener was born. There's at least one thing that separates me from adult film supersensation Joanna Angel, and that is our philosophy on laundry.

Case in point: I don't use fabric softener. I maintain a wardrobe that is almost exclusively cotton. If something says "dry clean only" on the label, I don't buy it. I lump my laundry — literally as well as figuratively — into two piles: lights and darks. There is one thing I put in my washer load: detergent. There is one thing I put in my dryer load: a static sheet. The darks get washed cold and the lights get washed hot. There is only one spin speed: max.

At times I wonder if there's another way of doing laundry that's better than mine, but I realize there aren't many ways that are faster, easier, and/or less thought-intensive. Were to retain Joanna Angel as a laundry consultant, perhaps things would be different.

Perhaps.