On the Sonicare

It's kind of like having my teeth raped by those scrubbing bubbles. But in a good way, if such a thing is possible. And I read in the user's guide that the first 12 uses of the brush will use lower speeds than what is considered "standard".

That's right: the default Sonicare speed is too intense for newbies. Over the next couple of days, I can expect my Sonicare experience to get (to find purchase in a new word, an old word, and a made-up word all at once) "thrillhouseier".