In Portland, Day Two

I was chided by my friend Toni for neglecting to tell her that we were headed through her neck of the woods yesterday. Were I thinking, I would have said something to her along the lines of "Hey, Toni, we're driving through your neck of the woods. Wanna do stuff or something?"

Let it be known that I suck, that I am heartily sorry, and that before I left I invested in yet another Dick's Variety Pak to ensure that my and Monk's serial viewing of the 1980s TV cartoon C.O.P.S. (series motto: "Fighting crime in a future time.") remains interesting.

I don't even remember what all happened today. Breakfast was at a great place called Mother's, we hit Cameron's Used Bookstore and Pittock Mansion. We did some tax-free clothes shopping and I found one of those old-timey put-hot-water-in-it-and-the-woman's-clothes-come-off coffee mugs. Apparently, that kind of thing is regarded as a necessity, because they didn't charge me sales tax for it. And you know what that means? It means Uncle Sam isn't getting his fingers into my woman whose clothing is dependent upon no sudden surges in temperature. The way God intended it to be, I suppose.

Then it was back to Powell's. That place is a panacea for book lovers, and they stay open late. We checked out of there after 10:30 PM, and then got some refreshments at Rock Bottom, which was, sadly, out of all XL T-shirts, so we walked away with a couple growlers of porter and lager.

Stumptown makes a damned fine coffee.

I was told I needed to try a Bacon Maple bar at Voodoo Doughnuts, so I did. It was like eating breakfast at 1 in the morning, only, somehow, bad for me. This delectable treat was, as you might imagine, a donut crafted into a rectangular bar and devoid of a hole, topped with maple frosting, and festooned with a strip of bacon broken into two biteable bits. I had bacon on a doughnut, and it agreed with me.

And then we hit the strip clubs. But that is the subject for another entry at another time. To wit: I've never seen a woman do that with her toes before.

Thank you and good night.