Naw, man...

...I'm pretty fucking far from OK.

In addition to everything that's been happening in my life thus far: the breakup, the move, the job stress, the anger, the depression, the drinking — in addition to all of this, I ended up rushing to the doctor's office yesterday.

My eye was fucked up. Half of it was red and had an unpleasantly yellow-tinged film growing over the bottom half of it. It was like something was swollen and dehydrated at the same time. I had no vision problems but I had a little, freakish pillow of pus/fluid/manna/whatever moving around the white of my eyeball, bunching up against the cornea whenever I moved the eye in its socket.

So I did what any distressed person with an eye injury would do. I pulled out my insurance card and called thd 24/7 nurse help line. I spoke with a pleasant woman named Deidre, who stated she was a registered nurse but did nothing more involved than walk me through some kind of WebMD-style troubleshooting program on her PC. After about 20 minutes of explaining that I'm not having vision problems, I just have something I've never seen before adhering to the surface of my eyeball, she suggested that I talk to my doctor.

No duh Deidre. I found myself in the middle of my own personal Lola rennt moment.

I looked at the clock. 12:42. I called the doctor's office: they were out to lunch. I jumped in the shower, threw on some clothes, and made it to the doctor's office at 1:33 PM. I explained that I didn't have an appointment but was worried that the medication I was on might be causing a reaction, since it's a topical cream I apply to my eyelids and, well, duh.

I was warned that, since I didn't have an appointment, I would have a "looong" wait, but I found that I got to see a physician about as quickly as I do when I schedule an appointment in advance, if not sooner.

So the doctor looks at my eye, which is already feeling better, of course, and gives me a prescription to use over the weekend.

For eyedrops.

For motherfucking eyedrops.

I hate eyedrops.

Now, don't get me wrong. I was expecting them. If the doctor had suggested tablets or a suppository, I would have wondered "Hey, why not eyedrops?" It still doesn't change the fact that I now can add "put drops in eyes every 4 hours for entire weekend" to the long list of needs-to-get-done shit that I would rather eat cardboard than actually do.

Times like this? I wish I were dead.