I Want to Curl Into a Ball and Fucking Die

I'm trying to distract myself by archiving some old hard disks I have laying around. Fun, right? Totally.

As I'm going through my old Eudora Attachments folder, I find the following, written September 13, 2000 in a text file called "to you.txt":

Today has been a bad day for us both.
Anger and Sadness,
Sickness and pain run rampant.
But this isn't about that.
This is about something happier.
Love.
I love you.
I love you through the headache,
and I'll love you through the anger and frustration.
And I'll keep on loving you
as long as you want me to.
As long as you need me to.
and then some.
And I know that each one
of these dificult days we make it through
brings us closer together.
just like each morning I wake up next to you
makes me love you more.
And you know what?
That makes me smile.
I'll be here for you when you need me.
I always will.
But for now, as you work through this...
know someone who loves you very much
is waiting for you on the other side.

Like a fucking dagger through what is left of my bleeding heart.