Thanksgiving Thoughts

Spending the holiday, as I have for the past three or four years, with Erica in the house where she grew up in Coshocton. Some thoughts:

Wednesday

• I hate karaoake. More than life itself.
  
  
• When Erica's father sings a-ha's "Take on Me", it sounds exactly like Weebl and Bob's version. Exactly like it.
  
  
• Widmar Hefeweisen is eight kinds of disgusting. Never drink it from the bottle unless you hate yourself.
  
  
• CBS has a thing for giving action/crime-solving shows to people who probably shouldn't have them: Mandy Patinkin, Thomas Gibson, and Gary Sinise. Who are these guys' agents?
  
  
• There is one person in this town who has a Linksys router plugged in. It is not connected to their cable modem. WTF?
  
  
• I haven't had non-Subway-based fast-food in quite a while. We ate at a Burger King tonight and it was like being on another planet. The next items to check off my list? Smoke some fags, play some pool, pretend I never went to school.

Thursday

• Dark meat is still quite possibly one of the world's most perfect foods.
  
  
• For no reason I can understand, my two superiors at work have chosen to text message me on my cell phone with their holiday wishes for health and happiness. Instead of, y'know, leaving me alone and keeping my phone quiet. An e-mail I can understand, but text messaging me is just annoying, especially when I have a Pavlovian-conditioned response to hating the sound of my cell phone receiving a text message.
  
  
• I've never met a red wine that Erica's mom likes that I can stand. I think this year's selection was "I Can't Believe It's Not Ocean Spray".
  
  
• I had forgotten how shallow the celebrity news industry is. "Next on Extra: go on a Christmas shopping spree with Rebecca Gayheart! She shops in one store for six minutes and buys skin cream for her coalminer father! After that, stay tuned for Access Hollywood!"
  
  
• Every major American home-for-the-holidays holiday is greeted by a James Bond marathon on TV. I am perfectly OK with this.
  
  
• I am watching Orson Welles eat pie on Thanksgiving. Danny Kaye is wearing grey shoes with an entirely grey suit and doing duets with Bing Crosby. It's a movie called White Christmas, and it is quite possibly the greatest musical of all time on the subject of doing favors for Army buddies.
  
  
• There is still no wireless connectivity in this town. WTF?!
  
  
• Thanksgiving day off + old Bing Crosby movie + martinis == to quote Erica's mom, "it doesn't get better than this".
  
  
• It is very difficult to enjoy the CourtTV series Forensic Files while Erica's mom is in the same room. This is primarily because she is never shy about verbally expressing her opinion on the subject matter, whether it be Vera Ellen's waistsize or why some sociopath would murder his own son.

Friday

• This is my first day off at the new job since starting in March. Totally worth it.
  
  
• Spent the day watching the Brendan Fraser episodes of Scrubs, followed by a lunch at a tea shop called "Serenity". This was followed up by a driving tour of Coshocton (hint: it's like Clearfield, PA meets Mayberry, RFD). I'm in a quaint little coffeeshop in Roscoe Village right now. Wireless Internet access exists. This is a good thing.
  
  
• Steve gets five cool points for correctly answering my challenge RE: "im in ur galazy crushing ur cr00".