I(N|S)TJ

The day before I met Monk for the very first time, I took the Myers-Briggs personality test, and the woman who administered it stressed that my result was not a label and did not last with me for the rest of my life the way a hat size might.

I scored an INTJ, and this is how I like to think of myself.

Ever since, those quick-and-dirty online tests designed to get a similar answer quickly and in five questions or fewer call me an ISTJ. Hearing this news is each and every time as shocking to me as suddenly being told by someone else that I'm left-handed. It just doesn't seem right.

The I, T, and J are pretty much set. I am and will always be an Introvert, Thinking, and very Judgmental. The question then is whether I Sense or iNtuit the world around me. The answer, of course, is both, which brings us at last to the moment of truth wherein the fundamental flaw in the Myers-Briggs test is ultimately expressed and the anomaly revealed as both beginning and end.

Sometimes I think about the answer to a problem and one arrives to me. Other times, I seek out empirical evidence of behavior. This is a classic example of the distinction between a priori and a posteriori knowledge. Kant explains this more thoroughly than I ever could, so I won't bother, but suffice to say that I do not feel I could fully experience the world around me with just an N or just an S. I need both, and I need to be able to switch between them depending on each individual situation.

My biggest fear is that reality and the pressures of being an adult have crushed the potential of my N and forced me to work with an S to get faster and more consistent results instead of flirting with failure at risking the chances of bring Something Wonderful into the world. I wonder if I'll be able to put this out of my mind and actually fall asleep tonight.