The Fantasy Novelist's Exam

Are you an avid fan of fantasy novels? I tried to get into The Fellowship of the Ring. I really did try. Twice. But I decided somewhere along the way after the prependix about Hobbit culture and an eleventy-first birthday that Tolkien should probably have taken a creative writing class before actually putting pen to paper.

These days, he could just have taken the Fantasy Novelist's Exam. To wit:

Does nothing happen in the first fifty pages?
Is your story about a young character who comes of age, gains great power, and defeats the supreme badguy?
Does your novel contain a character that is really a god in disguise?
Do any of your main characters have apostrophes or dashes in their names?
Does your main villain punish insignificant mistakes with death?

It occurs to me just now that there is one fantasy trilogy I enjoyed reading: The Darkangel Trilogy by Meredith Ann Pierce. It's about vampires. Vampires on the moon. (So awesome.)