Four.

I only have three different classifications of Monday.

1. Nothing is wrong, everything is in its place. These are rare.
2. A couple of people have some minor problems that did not exist on Friday. I spend my morning sorting out forgotten passwords and dead equipment, the latter being anything from catastrophic hardware failure to "not plugged in".
3. I arrive to see chaos. Something important is broken or missing, people are fist-fighting in the halls, the server room is literally on fire, and I am told "they've" been calling for me on radio since 7 AM. Additionally, a couple of people have some minor problems that did not exist on Friday. I spend as much time doing damage-control and fielding the same questions from half the building ("Did you know the server's down?" or "Do you know if there's a reason why I wouldn't be able to ____ my ____ today?") as I do actually fixing the problem.

And then, just like that, I start counting the days until my next day off.